To be complete and honest I don't even know what I want anymore for my life :\ Hm, I'm like seriously tired of my life. I'm tired of being sad cause it sucks, it's true. I hate to cry even though sometimes It's the best cure -.- Ahah,    I sometimes asked myself what I want the most. But I can't even answer that question cause I don't want to hope for it. Sometimes I put my hope to high and when I'm not get what I want I'm start to be sad :\ It's hurts serious. I just want to be happy, SMILING, you. I do not know how I feel for you anymore. Er, Yes I don't know. And now I think it's better not to think about it way too much xx. And now I'm trying to forget it, aha errr okay nope. I'm trying to put it aside. Trying not to care and maybe slowly that feeling will fade away. Hm, no I can't lie myself :( I'm stupid haa, stupid stupid stupid :(( It kills me.